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DUMPSTER

$1,175.00$13,575.00

(5 customer reviews)

A.K.A. DMPSTR BY EL JEFE

WEIGHT: 6.66 oz | 188.8 gm
DIMENSIONS: 6.66″ x x 9.99″ x 18″ | 16.9 cm x 25.4 cm x 45.7 cm
CAPACITY: $5.5M + in Large US Treasury Bills

TYPE 4 ADVENTURE.
The Limited Edition, custom signed DMPSTR was created for stealth, low profile, gray-man-stud-muffin missions that badly need a container capable of incredible feats while not looking ‘tacticool dork.’ Be The Hero. Spend the Benjamins.

Or, go ultra-nano-light with the DMPSTR NFT Purchase Option and Jefe will create an individual NFT of your personal DMPSTR.

Clear

A.K.A. DMPSTR BY EL JEFE

WEIGHT: 6.66 oz | 188.8 gm
DIMENSIONS: 6.66″ x x 9.99″ x 18″ | 16.9 cm x 25.4 cm x 45.7 cm
CAPACITY: $5.5M + in Large US Treasury Bills

NOTE: THIS PRODUCT WAS AN 2022 APRIL 1 FOOLS JOKE POST

We will leave it up for a while because there were many links to it from all over the webiverse. HOWEVER: If you do buy actually buy one of the physical DMSTRS, EL JEFE will build it for you and we will donate the proceeds to a trail organization of your choice.

TYPE 4 ADVENTURE.
The Limited Edition, custom signed DMPSTR was created for stealth, low profile, gray-man-stud-muffin missions that badly need a container capable of incredible feats while not looking 'tacticool dork.' Be The Hero. Spend the Benjamins.

Or, go ultra-nano-light with the DMPSTR NFT Purchase Option and Jefe will create an individual NFT of your personal DMPSTR.

The DMPSTR Fits:
• $5.5M + in Large US Treasury Bills.
• 16 Full-size Kurki Machetes.
• 5 Large Alley Cats, Live.
• 21-day Emergency Rations for a Photographer + Reporter Away Team.
• Giant Monkey Frog Poisoning Cultural Appropriation Kambo Ceremony Supplies.
• Bushcrafter Crap.
• Hope for the Future.

DMPSTER Uses:
• Ransom Drop Bag.
• Evidence Transport.
• Time Travel to 1979 Studio 54.
• Looting.
• 44lbs Organic Jasmine Rice, Double Mylar Bagged w/ 30 X 100cc OxySorb Packets.
• BOB CBRN EDC GHB SHTF TEOTWAWKI WROL HYOH.
• Storage of El Jefe's Manifesto, Part 1, Hand Witten in Carbon Particle India Ink, w/ Illustrations; 1973-1991, Unedited. Ref: Political Theory/Sovereignty.

HANDMADE, SIGNED + DATED BY "EL JEFE."
El Jefe has been making one-of-a-kind sewn outdoor adventure survival gear for over 51 years. He is now old and slow but precise. Jefe knows things you do not. Survival is Power Without Dogma. Jefe is Power.

FEATURES

• Constructed from EcoPak Ultra 400 UHMWPEin Emotional Abyss Black (See Fabric Mojo to Learn More about EcoPak Ultra.)
• YKK #8 WR Zipper
• 1.5"/ 38mm Nylon HT Strap
• Proprietary Seam Tape
• Super Kool Black 12Kn Locking Carabiners (Weight Not Included.)
• UHMWPE Zip Cord Pulls: Stiffened, Wrapped, Stuffed, and Tucked. Just like Your Mother.

ECOPAC ULTRA FABRIC IS BETTER THAN SEX.
At least the way you're doing it. Jefe does it different. That's where Slow comes in. Jefe does many things slow. Slow is Fast. Use Ultra. Be Like Jefe.

DUMPSTER

WEIGHT: 6.66 oz | 188.8 gm
DIMENSIONS: 6.66″ x x 9.99″ x 18″ | 16.9 cm x 25.4 cm x 45.7 cm
CAPACITY: $5.5M + in Large US Treasury Bills

MATERIAL/COLORS:

ECOPAK ULTRA 400 UHMWPE: Emotional Abyss Black.

LIMITED EDITION SIGNED DMPSTR

COST: $1,175
WEIGHT: 6.66 oz | 188.8 gm

Tangible. We send it in the mail. You can touch it. Feel it. You can use it for your own stealth, low profile, gray-man-stud-muffin missions. Be like Jefe.

DMPSTR NFT

COST: $13,575
WEIGHT: I am the cloud.

Evolve beyond base weight. “What does your DMPSTR weight?” Nothing bro, nothing. Block-chain. Digital assets. Modern-day collectibles. Jefe knows. Be like Jefe.

5 reviews for DUMPSTER

  1. Joe Customer

    Best $13k I’ve ever spent

  2. Dave Perpol

    A fantastic ultralight option for doing my skid mark stained laundry and/or grocery shopping! High durability and looks great too.

  3. Mike Crusteebuht

    My Dumpster got a tiny hole in the laptop sleeve from a space laser. I called Jefe and he just yelled at me and sent some dcf tape. 5 stars, duh.

  4. Prefer Not to Say

    I’ve spent two years planning the perfect bank hiest; all that’s been missing is an ultra-light tote that could carry 5 mil in cold, hard cash without making me look like a soccer mom. It’s about time someone started selling UL gear for alternative adventures. I mean thru-hiking is great and all’ but some of us need more adrenaline. Not only is the DMPSTR functional, but if the whole plan goes to hell, I’m gonna look like a ferakin’ rockstar on the news.

  5. Mark Rico

    You’re not ultralight unless you can carry 11 Chihuahuas in a shoulder bag that weighs 6.66 oz. Just buy it already.

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